Logic?

The other day, I was thinking about the stage of life that I'm entering now, and trying to put together exactly how I got here. I mean, don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of occurrences in my life, along with subtle influences, that have shaped who I am (in regards to my future military side). But I think that to many people who don't know me in that, this decision doesn't really seem to fit my persona.

I am definitely a nerd at heart. I've always loved science, starting with dinosaurs and ending up with theories of relativity and discussions about the dreaded quantum mechanics (I hate QM, but only because it goes against conventional thought, is difficult to swallow, and worst of all, it works). I graduated with a BS in Physics (almost magna cum laude, short .01 GPA points. damn.), have held an engineering internship that I believe could've blossomed into a job by this point, participated in a significant amount of research as an undergrad, leading me to believe that I could have gone to graduate school.

So yes, that's me. I am a math/science guy. I love knowing how things work. I love solving problems. I love getting to break through into new realms of understanding, to discover that unquestioned truisms are not actually as simple, or as true as I might have once thought. It is this side of me that has shown through in my academic life. K-BS (kindergarten thru bachelors). And while my "nerdy" side is 100% me, and I have always been extremely passionate about it, I have another side as well.

I am a competitor. I am a fighter. I am a believer. The latter is actually the best way to describe this side of myself. I believe in God. I believe in Right and Wrong. I believe in my country. I believe in my family. I cannot put into words how intensely I believe in these things. My competitiveness and my willingness to fight are just tools to uphold my beliefs.

You will see this side if you play a sport with me, if you get me started on a topic I care passionately about, if you insult my country, if you attack a member of my family. Generally, I am a very laid back person, because I understand that people believe different things than I do, and I respect their right to hold those beliefs, just so long as they don't impede on mine.

Also, it is worth mentioning, my two identities do clash, and quite often. On one side, I am a stubborn man: solid in his ways, willing to fight for a way of life or thought. On the other, I am a curious scientific observer: questioning EVERYTHING and open to the possibility that I am wrong (given a compelling enough argument). This has led me to continually reshape my idea of God, and I still am not sure precisely what I believe, only that there is a Creator, a Higher Power, something more. I am not a hardcore conservative Republican. I think that gays are people, and should be treated as such. They will not burn in hell for following desires that hurt no one. However, I do not believe they should be allowed to be openly homosexual in the military, as it has the possibility to change the dynamics between the men on the front lines fighting. More than that, this stupid "politically correct" movement to change the law NOW, of all times, is preposterous. We are in the middle of the war, and messing with a proven system is out of the question.

I believe in my family. Never questioned that. Never will.

Anyway, I ramble. It is the second side of me who has pushed me as I played sports, and as I ran for class president. It is this side that has enabled me to become a leader in the communities I've been in, and allowed me to forge strong and lasting friendships. It is also this side that took over in the beginning of my senior year of college and said, "Bud, what are you doing? Yes yes, science is awesome, and you can get back to it soon enough, but you need to be a man first. Go out and fight for what you believe in. Earn your freedom. Earn your liberty." So as always, I listen to the best argument, and the Marine Corps won.

I warned you that I'm going to start treating this like a real blog. Readers beware.

Oh yeah, and that last version of the strip was my attempt to more clearly articulate the logical progression of my life, and how poorly the last panel fits in. I don't really think it's necessary, but what the hell, there are some serious dumbasses out there.

So onto the life and times of ME. Finally I have someone to hang out with down here in VA. My neighbor across the street is a girl my age with nothing to do, and she plays guitar (a lot better than I do... damn.), so I'm sure we'll have plenty of jam seshes in the next 2 1/2 weeks. And Tim's old roommate lives like 3 minutes away, AND he's in the Corps, so I have a drinking/workout buddy before I go to OCS and he to TBS.

I went out for a walk in my new boots, with my mom, in an attempt to break them in a little. But after a few unfortunate events (me thinking we didn't need to turn around, then having to anyway, but by that point we needed to run in order to pick Johnny up on time), but boots wore ME in. I've got paaainful blisters on the backs of my heels. Sucks.

Oh yeah, and I'm flying down to Pensacola, FL on Sunday until Wednesday to get a flight physical done so I can hopefully be a pilot (SWEET!) Seems as though the Corps is willing to pay for me to be prepared to go to flight school even though they couldn't give me a flight contract. So I've got my hopes up.

Anyway, thats enough blathering. I'm tired. And no one has actually read any of this. So goodnight. You suck, no one.

bud

ps... don't worry, in future posts I won't be talking about how great I am. Sorry about that everyone.